♥AMRH's.

A few hours left 'til the sun's gonna rise
Tomorrow will come and it's time to realize
Our love has finished forever

/ Monday, December 14, 2009 { 6:56 PM }

4 more days to N levels results day. Just a few more days to go and I'm shit nervous! I had fun talking on th phone with Twin last night and we couldn't stop gossiping about R. Kesian twu anak, confirm terbatok-batok kat rumah, heh. Hmm, I don't see th reason why I dread coming to work today. Work today was fine but I wasn't in th best mood to talk to anyone and tried my best to just smile. There wasn't any appointment in th morning unless for those who have to revisit to th departments they had went before. We obviously had nothing to do in th morning before we went for our lunch. I stoned and starred onto th wall. Went for lunch with Sandy, Humaira, Yasmin, Luqman and Khairul. Then, went back to ITD Office and slacked all th way till 2:00pm before we could go to any wards/department to do our assets. I suddenly kept myself quiet and somehow emo-ed when I accidentally read one of th text message from R which was sent two months ago.

Tell me about it. When can I stop feeling down all of a sudden when I think about R? When can I stop saying that I miss him but no action has been done? When can I stop thinking about him 24/7 and worry about him when he will go MIA all of a sudden? When can I stop irritate people with my rantings to them about R? Sheesh. I find myself such a low life person simply because my mind is like all about R 24/7. Even at work, I can never stop thinking about him. Sigh. R oh R, you make my life so hurtful, make my life miserable. K, enough. Went to Ward 54 with Sandy, Yasmin, Jasmani and don't know who. I was th one who did th most assets among 5 of us and they kept on asking me why I could do so many assets within minutes. Haha. Simple, if you want to earn more money, you have to be thick skinned enough to ask th user that you need to do stock take for their computer, do it fast and smart and then, continue being thick skin for th rest of your work days, heh.

There wasn't many assets to do today. And somemore, there's only a few appointments and there was like only a few assets to do in that ward/department. Really pathetic, I know. Went back to ITD Office and on th way to ITD Office, me, Sandy, Yasmin, Humaira, Nigel, Luqman and Khairul couldn't stop disturbing each other about, "Eh, your boyfriend", "Eh, your best friend". Our inside joke. Only those who were with us just now know what I was talking. We were exceptionally noisy today and only those who were with us knows why. It's fun being with them, teasing each other about being together with a certain someone. They are really kecoh people, heh. Fun, fun. At ITD office, key-ed in my data and sent to Wei Tiong. At 4:45pm, we were allowed to go home. Before going back home, I bought my usual Icy Soya Milk at Mr Bean. Bused back home. On th journey back home, like again, I couldn't stop thinking about R. R here and there.

Sigh. Shit you, Ammirah. Home sweet home at 6:00pm and mom gave me th clueless look and kept on asking why I so early arrived home already. Standard luh, less assets = go home earlier. Hehe. Just so you know, when I was on th bus going back home, I suddenly remembered about th appointment me & Sandy had to go at th Service Block at 3:00pm which literally slipped off from our mind when we were busy doing our assets at Ward 54. How forgetful can we get? Sheesh. Haha. Sandy's favourite sentence, too old already. I hope that when Nashrique comes back to work tomorrow, he won't scream his ass off to us. Scary~ LOL. This Wednesday is gonna be my last day at work. Gonna miss my workmates. Yayz, I'm going shop shop this Thursday, can't wait! Alright, I guess, my post is long enough already eh eh eh. I miss dancing (and R) all of a sudden. LMAO.

/ Sunday, December 13, 2009 { 4:14 PM }

5 more days to N levels results. At 11:00am, went out with family to Bukit Batok. Accompanied brother to Bukit Batok Driving Centre to top up money for his driving lesson. Then, went to somewhere near to Bukit Gombak's MRT Station. Yes, directly opposite Bukit Gombak's MRT Station, not th stadium. I bought myself a T-Strap sandle from one of th shop selling shoe. Mom bought a shoe for herself too. Then, we had our brunch at Alkafe. I couldn't stop saying that, I'd rather go for shopping with that $1000++ than to go for my driving lesson in th future. Haha. I don't even think I will want to take up a driving lesson. Not interested, haha. After eating, walked around th place. Brother & dad bought th same shoe. Kecoh uh, everyone in my family bought shoe for themself today. Haha. Went to Jurong Point and it's time for me to go shop shop.

I bought a purple dress & new leggings for myself. Then walked around Jurong Point aimlessly. Went to Cotton On and bought a bronze flat. Dad told me that he will buy for me th black colored one at th end of this month. Cool, this means, I'm gonna have two flats from Cotton On. Didn't have th time to check out th clothes from Cotton On because brother kept on rushing me. It sucks to have guys with us when we go shopping because they will never fail to rush us. Irritating much. When I wanted to buy th flip flop from Cotton On, he kept on asking me to pay my flats. Mom and dad were okay with it whether I want to buy that flip flop or not since it's my money, not theirs. It's okay, I'm gonna go for my shopping spree again next week. I'm left with a few more stuffs to buy. And my money in my bank savings keep on burning because I spent too much on clothings and shoes already.

No doubt, I'm getting my second pay at th end of this month. I just can't wait to go for another shopping spree. I want to buy a waist belt which I didn't get it just now as my brother kept on rushing me, th black long sleeve shirt and flip flop from Cotton On, 1 more dress for me, a love cher bagpack and lastly, everlast school shoe (if I manage to go to sec 5). I don't care, I'm getting them by next week, hehe. I still have to go for my second rebonding at th end of th year. Woah, great, money burning again. Sheesh. It's okay, when I get my second pay, I won't spend my money till next year. Like as if I can like that, lol. Money in = money out. K, enough about shopping. I have work tomorrow and I'm wearing my Cotton On flats to work tomorrow. Heh. I cannot stop thinking about R since yesterday. It sucks to be me somtimes. My annoying flu isn't getting any better. Rawr!

Things to shop for:
~~T-strap sandal~~, ~~dress~~, ~~14.8mm grey contact lens~~ waist belt, floral dress, ♥ cher bagpack, ~~new leggings~~, ~~pink~~ & black wallet clutch, flip flop from cotton on, long sleeve from cotton on, ~~bronze~~ & black flats from cotton on.

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY, ADRIAN! :D

/ Saturday, December 12, 2009 { 5:35 PM }

6 more days to N levels results. I didn't go for my shopping spree in th end because I'm having menses cramp. Up till now, I'm still having it. How suay can I get? Very! Just when I was about to go shopping and buy all th stuffs which I wanted so much, it got ruined in th end. Pfft. Very frustrating eh. I know. Just so you know, I miss wearing my school uniform. *point up to my picture of th day* I know I sound so psycho for missing wearing my school uniform but yes, I really do miss wearing my school uniform. Heh. Speaking of which, I also miss coming to school, crap during silent reading with Twin & Afi, have my normal lesson which I will end up lying my head on th table and sleep when th lesson is too boring & dull for me. How typical of me, haha. Results is just 6 days away and I am seriously can't wait to come back to school but not ready to see my results.

Results just make me nervous. If I disappoint anyone about my results and can't come back to Westwood next year, how? I don't wish to leave Westwood without any farewell assembly and prom night. Being in Normal Academic stream is just horrible. Because you have to take 2 major exams if you can come back to sec 5. Seriously, it's just horrible. Sigh, whatever it is, I just have to wait for th 18th to come. Part of me tells me that I'm excited to come back to school to see my friends and part of me tells me that I dread coming back to school to receive back my N levels results. What is wrong with me? Sheesh. Like what I've said, just wait for th 18th to come, see my results and move on to sec 5/ITE. But hopefully, I can manage to make it to sec 5 eh. Just pray hard luh. I seriously want to take O levels and I still want to be in secondary school education, not tertiary yet.

If you get th point of what I had said, then good. I really have no idea what I was talking. I am just too nervous, that's why. Th days are counting nearer and who th hell won't be nervous for results especially if you really, really want to go to sec 5. K luh, enough about results. I guess my readers are getting bored, reading about my rants. But I'm serious luh, I really want to go to sec 5 but what if I can't make it? I kept on having nightmares about my N levels results you know. What's worse, all 4 nightmares are about I fail my N levels and can't come back to sec 5. Sheesh. Annah, I shall stop talking abou tmy N levels results already. I know it's annoying, hehe. I spent my entire day at home and rot like no tomorrow. Been having PMS and I kept on getting angry with my parents easily. I hate you, PMS. :D For th past 3 hours, I've been texting with Twin.

From me ranting about R to her, we suddenly talked about our life in Westwood. I seriously miss those moments in school luh. Especially during those days when I will never fail to disturb anyone during our silent reading when we were supposed to read and not to talk. And also about th part when I started talking about R in school, some people will never fail to menyampok and tell me that they know who is R. I don't know how but almost all th 4NA Malays know who R is. Dah famous eh twu anak. Huahua. Alright, enough about school. And I just realise that my post for today is all about school. Heh, I just miss school. I miss R too luh seh. It has been a long time since I last text him. See luh, who ask me to refrain myself from texting him? Then now, miss him like whattt. Sheesh. Just so you know, it's exactly 1 month away to my 17th birthday! Heh. Kbye! :D

/ Friday, December 11, 2009 { 7:56 PM }

7 more days to N levels results. I skipped work again today because of my condition. I'm having fever, flu & sore throat. Woke up at 8:15am today and used th computer. Had my breakfast and I went to sleep again alllllll th way till 2:00pm. Rabak right? Tsktsk. I obviously haven't even had my bathe luh. LOL. Th moment I woke up at 2:00pm, I immediately went to take a bath. Used th computer after that and IM-ed with Ahyeen. IM-ed with her for a while and I went window blogshopping all th way till 6:00pm. A lot of things attracted me and I had th temptation to buy them but I decided to let th feelings go since I will be going for a shopping spree with Sandy tomorrow at Bugis/Town. Oh, can't wait. I want to buy new leggings, a new pair of pumps from Cotton On/T-strap sandal from Bugis, dress, top, bottom and a waist belt. I seriously can't wait to go shop shop.

Ok, enough about it. I shall see tomorrow what gonna attract me. Hehe. I spent th entire day at home today and I seriously can't endure with my sickness anymore. I will get headache easily. How to go shopping spree tomorrow? Sheesh. Right now, I'm mega bored. I cannot stop sneezing and it irritates me a lot. Like, really a lot. Pfft. And th another thing, I'm missing R badly. When I meant badly, I really do mean it okay. Sigh. Whatever luh. It has been a long time since anyone of us sees him online in MSN/Facebook. Asal tibe-tibe MIA eh? Hmmms. Alright, I can hardly wait for th 25th to come since I have cousin (paternal side) gathering at Chalet. When will my maternal side have gathering? It has been a long time since my maternal side come together and gather at Chalet/BBQ Pit. I miss all my cousins from my maternal sides seh. Ok, it's very rare for me to say this.

I know, heh. Oh well, keep this aside. I'm getting back my N levels results next week. It's like just NEXT WEEK you know and time flies real fast. I'm seriously having mixed feelings. How will my results be like? Can I make it to sec 5? Can I, can I? Most of th people around me keep on saying that I will go to ITE instead of sec 5. Really frustrating you know. I've studied hard enough for my N levels and they just cannot stop saying that I will go to ITE. Diam2 sudah. Korang mane tawu aku blaja rajin ke tk. Whatever luh eh. It's up to you guys to say whatever you want, fuckers. I didn't name anyone. So, peace. Brother told me that if I can make it to sec 5, he will get for me anything I want. Oh, I want a PINK Digital camera, okay? :D Alright, I guess I am done with my post. Don't wish to continue anymore and I wanna continue window blogshopping right now. So, bye! :)

/ Thursday, December 10, 2009 { 7:20 PM }

8 more days to N levels results. I was having a hard time during work today because I wasn't feeling very well and nearly puke when I was at th main lobby, going up to th ITD Office to report for work. Trust me, at that point of time, I was having a bad headache, sore throat, flu & felt like vommiting. Sheesh. What a day for me eh. Received th re-contract letter for my work. I'm gonna continue working maybe till next week or next 2 weeks. I don't know. I'm very indecisive right now because first, if I continue working till 24 December, I will be mega tired and second, if I continue working till next Wednesday only, what's th use of re-contracting right? K, whatever. I will make up my mind later on. Did assets at Department of Laboratory Medicine today and I was seriously felt like puking and my head was spinning. Raahh. But it didn't stop me from doing lesser work.

I don't what is wrong with me for doing more work when I know I wasn't feeling well. I'm a weirdo. Couldn't stop disturbing Ariff and since he laughed like a horse, I started to call him, horse and he was unhappy with it and kept on bullying me. Pfft. Went for late lunch and went back to ITD office. Continued with work. Oh well, thank god that I got to do 41 assets in total today. Never did I do such a big number of assets. :) Went back to ITD Office before going home. As usual, when me, Sandy & Ariff meet, we can never stop immitate Konnyaku and Ariff couldn't stop saying to me, "Eh Ah-meh-lah" when I didn't answer his question because Konnyaku pronounce my name that way. Wtf luh you, Ah-ref. LOL! Seriously, my workmates can never stop giving each other those animals name. Sandy is unhappy with Ariff and Nashrique because they both couldn't stop calling her, squirrel. You know, th Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants? HAHA!

I can never stop calling Ariff, horse because he laughs like a horse. And Sandy claimed that I called Nashrique, ostrich because I heard wrongly when she said Nashrique's name. I swear I thought she said ostrich instead of Nashrique luh. Haha. Hmm, then briefing and by 5:00pm, we could go home! Headed home & home sweet home. Seriously, I'm addicted to Mr Bean's Pearly Soya Milk already. Because everyday after work, me and Sandy will never fail to go to Mr Bean to buy Pearly Soya Milk, heh. Once I got home, I checked my letterbox and my Pink Wallet Clutch arrived already! I was happy like what okay. I love my Pink Wallet Clutch. Gonna buy for Mom a black wallet clutch when I goes to Bugis this Saturday with Sandy to shop shop! :D I might not be coming to working again tomorrow since I'm having fever, sore throat and flu right now.

My vision is very blur right now. Sheesh, I hate to get sick luh seh. Pfft. Need to go to Jurong Polyclinic again tomorrow to take MC if I'm not coming to work tomorrow. Boooo. Gah, I'm missing R badly right now. I wanna meet him, I wanna see him, I wanna talk to him, I wanna laugh at him. I'm having a bad temptation right now. Th temptation to text him when I am not suppose to text him for a week. Cause you know why? Only god knows why. It's just a personal reason. My private blog to know more. Guess I'm done with this post. My hand is trembling because I'm cold. My vision is blur and dark. Am I lack of Vitamin A or what? LOL! My head is as heavy as 2kg. My nose blocked irritates me a lot. Pfft. I hate to get sick! :(

/ Wednesday, December 09, 2009 { 7:48 PM }

9 more days to N levels results. Just so you know, I cut my bangs a bit shorter 2 days ago and I regretted cutting it off a bit shorter. Because you know why? I didn't even cut it a bit shorter but I accidentally cut it off up till exactly on my eyebrow. And it looks fucking short now and I hate short fringe luh. If only my hand wasn't that itchy enough to cut it even shorter. Sigh. Whatever, I just have to let it grow. Hopefully, my bangs will grow longer up till below my eyebrow by th 18th. I don't want to receive any comments from that particular person who will never fail to give me nasty/negative comment each time I cut my fringe off to bangs. Pfft. Like as if his hair is so nice like that. I know my hair looks cacat on bangs okay. I know myself, dude but no choice, I hate to have fringe up till my nose as it irritates me a lot, get it? Siape makan cili, rase pedasnye. :)

So, I didn't come to work again today as I was too tired to wake up. I was supposed to come to work today but oh well, I didn't get to wake up at 6:30am today. Nobody even wake me up. So yeah, I overslept and woke up at 10:15am. Perangai kebabian, I know. Haha. I spent my day IM-ing with Ahyeen. Couldn't stop talking to her about R. I know I'm mega irritating these few days because I can never stop talking about R to anyone who knows him. *wide smile*. Made a new friend from facebook and found out that he is R's friend. Since when Ammirah likes to make new friend? Haha. After using th computer for 5 hours, I had my afternoon nap all th way till my father had to wake me up as it was already Maghrib. Th moment I woke up from my afternoon nap, I had a terrible migraine. Trust me, I didn't have any energy to lift up any heavy stuffs. I even felt like vommiting.

Right now, am using th computer. I have to come work tomorrow. Oh anyway, someone from talense, my work company, called me and asked me where I'm working tomorrow because she told me that she wanted to send my extension contract tomorrow. Oh, this means, I'm gonna continue working next week? Oh god, how am I suppose to concentrate on my work next week when my mind is all about R & N levels results? Seriously, it will distract my mind, okay. Speaking of which, I dreamnt that I fail my N levels during my afternoon nap. Wtf? And that was like my fourth time having nightmare about my N levels results. Sigh. And out of nowhere, R suddenly came into th picture. What kind of dream is that? I have weird dreams these few days. Sheesh. What is wrong with my crappy dreams? Gaaah. Yesterday was th 8th and no wonder I was feeling emo-ish yesterday.

It has been 2 months but.... Okay, forget it. I am seriously missing R like no tomorrow. Words can never describe how much I miss R but yeah, only god knows how much I miss him. It has been a long time since I last see him online be it in MSN or Facebook. Is he that busy? Or what? I've been stopping myself to sms him for days already and I seriously don't know what is wrong with me for avoiding him. My life is so complicating, I know. :) One moment I will sms him, one moment I won't sms him for days & same goes for him too. Ah, whatever. I am trying my very not to irritate him when he's on th busy and tired mode. I am trying my best to stay strong. Like what Ahyeen Bitch told me, "Do not give up hope on him". Yes darling, I'm trying my best not to. Be proud of me, hehe. :)

Today's th 9th. I still remember one of your SMS to me on th 9th. I've been waiting but... How long do I have to wait somemore? I trust you but it has been 2 months already. Sigh.

/ Tuesday, December 08, 2009 { 10:14 PM }

10 more days to N levels results. I'm mega tired right now. Tired = Not in th good mood and will get irritated easily. For th whole of today during work, I was having a terrible mood swing. Trust me, I nearly shoot out all my favourite vocabulary you know. I accidentally said th word, "Ass", but lucky that nobody heard me. I did 30 assets today and I'm kinda happy with it because I usually do 10-20 assets. In th morning, I did together with Sandy at Service Block and Kent Ridge. After that, went for lunch. Seriously, I am sick of eating at Kopitiam or th Staff Canteen. Sheesh. In th afternoon, did assets with Sandy and Ariff at Ward 64 and Wellness Centre. Th three of us seriously couldn't stop gossiping about Konnyaku. Ariff like only. He couldn't stop asking me to immitate Konnyaku you know. We even couldn't stop laughing like one maniac each time I started to immitate Konnyaku.

Well, at least it brightened up my day a little bit. Ariff kept on immitate Konnyaku's, "What jelly?" with th eyebrow going down. If you get what I meant, then good. If no, screw your brain. :) Me and Sandy seriously couldn't stop laughing when we were drinking our hot milo. We can get it for free from th drinking machine whatttt. So, being a typical Singaporean, we obviously took it lor. Th three of us were seriously kiasu, haha. Th worker at th Wellness Centre is very nice because she started talking to us and talked a lot with her. How nice can she get? Very! :) Even Ariff said that me & Sandy are crazy girls because we couldn't stop laughing out loud at him. Haha! Hmm, then at 5:15pm, went to th staff canteen for meeting. At 6:05pm, went home. Bused home and home sweet home. At home, did my data and it took me approximately 1 hour to finish it up you know.

My back and hand suddenly ache like tomorrow. Hmm, I might not be coming to work tomorrow. I'm too tired to come. I couldn't even open my eyes fully during work just now. And it was half open for th rest of my day today. See how sleepy & tired I get? Sheesh. Nick told us that those whose contract which is ending this Friday might extend. What?! I don't want to extend! I want my school holiday again, I want my 12 hours of sleep again and I WANT TO GO SHOPPING! I need a break before getting my results next week. My mind will be seriously disturb about my N levels results during work if my contract will be extended. Tskz. As usual, I couldn't stop thinking about R and couldn't stop talking about R to Sandy & Ariff. I think, th both of them got irritated with me for talking about R non stop. Heh. Seriously, me is missing R badly right now. Sigh. :(

Seriously, muker tak perlu, perangai tak perlu. Kau siape siak nak kasi aku black face kau when aku tak buat pape kat kau? Kau ade attitude problem eh? Atau, kau ade issue ngan aku when aku seriously tak buat pape kat kau? Ingat kat kepale otak kau nie eh yang aku seriously benci kau ever since aku dapat tawu perangai kau macam gini. Like seriously, NO USE GIVING ME YOUR BLACK FACE WHEN I KNOW, I DO NO WRONG TO YOU TO YOU AT ALL. What is wrong with you uh, girl? Pfft! I didn't name anyone. Siape makan cili, rase pedasnye. :)

Today's th 8th and it has been 2 months but... Sigh. ILY.